Every time I step in Wal-Mart I regret it. EVERYTIME. And yet I keep going back. It's a sick drug, the drug of cheapness, and I don't know how to stop. Here are a few of my thoughts last time
"Are $.28 cans of tomatoes really worth risking my life?"
"I guess there really is an obesity epidemic."
"I am getting dumber by the minute..."
"I am pretty darn good looking."
"When I am president motorized grocery carts will be outlawed."
"Why? Why? Why?"
"Humans aren't all that they are cracked up to be..."
"What's that smell?"
"Seriously, where do these people come from."
This may sound harsh. You may think I am exaggerating. Well, clearly if you are thinking that you haven't been to Casa Grande's Wal-Mart. Mark my words...when I die and they do an autopsy...the cause of death will be Wal-Mart. That place is killing me slowly.
i remember on a date with a guy (not ben, thank heavens) we had to stop at walmart for something. apparently he was trying to compliment me & said, "you are the hottest girl in the store." and i was like, um, compared to the checker who is 50 and has lost all her teeth? or compared to the 13 year old wearing a tube top & you can see her G-string? you can take that compliment & stuff it where the sun don't shine brotha...
ReplyDeletelol.
ReplyDeleteWalmart is hilarious! How can you not like going there!?
Oh my gosh that made me laugh so hard, because I was just talking to Rob about the same thing!! I always feel like and outsider at WalMart, or maybe its all perspective. I'm still terrified to take the children in...they might touch something, or contract something....too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh Andrea . . . I know what you mean . . . however-- when I lived 100 miles away from the nearest Walmart for a year and a half, I did become more grateful for it. I can't bring myself to go there more than about once a month now that there is one only 8 miles away . . . but I am glad I have the choice?!
ReplyDeletewow, i must shop at snobby uptown walmarts. well, we did live next to a scuzzy one for awhile, but mostly not. thank goodness!
ReplyDeleteIt is worth the drive up to Gilbert road/202. It is a whole different store! Our Walmart should probably be shut down for health/uncleanliness reasons, for sure.
ReplyDeleteIt was kind of rude and vain. Oh well.
ReplyDeletehey sketchy anonymous commenter:
ReplyDeletethere ain't no cure for crazy!!
girl, you know i got my wal-mart bit to add...there are 3 wally's within 10 minutes in alabama...each with their own title, the Black Walmart, the Rich Walmart, and the one that none of the Haws' can make returns at.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this so true?! My mom and I were at WalMart yesterday and SO many of these same thoughts came to mind!
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