I love to read. Possibly too much. So much so that I have to make rules for myself. Because if I'm left to my own devices I read all night long. A good book can captivate me in such a way that dishes and housework and grad school and showers no longer exist. I often dream about having my own Pemberly-esque Library in my home. Where I can sip tea and read in the firelight...And talk in a proper British accent and wear a petticoat. Okay, it's starting to get real.
But I don't just read novels. I love Self Help and non-fiction and cook books ( remind me to tell you a funny story about me and cookbooks sometime).
So with this background knowledge - I want to tell you about my son Tyler who is Dyslexic.
The story of Tyler's dyslexia diagnosis is a long one...and one I have a feeling I will be writing about more some other day. But for now suffice it to say that it has been a difficult experience to watch my son fall further and further behind in school. It has been difficult to watch my child that once loved school cry and dread going each day - unable to fall asleep worrying. After years of interventions and testing and research and tears (by both of us) we found him right where we began.
"The testing shows that its as if the last three years he hasn't even attended school...he reads below a Kindergarten level."
Three years. And nothing stuck. I kept visualizing all those hours in tutoring and reading groups and Kumon and Hooked on Phonics and it was if I was watching them swirl down the drain.
The last class I took in Grad school was a Master level research class and during this class we picked a subject and spent the entire semester researching it and ultimately writing our findings. Those four months were encouraging somedays and heart breaking in others. There is no "cure" for dyslexia, I'd read. Followed by, "Dyslexic individuals are often of above average intelligence and can have areas of extraordinary talent and proficiency." It was a bootcamp for me as him mom - showing me what he would ultimately need.
A few weeks ago we took a leap. A huge financial, two hours a day in the car, two hours a day in the waiting room, this will be our summer - kind of leap of faith. Hoping for the best. Hoping for Tyler.
And today something magical happened. Something miraculous to this mothers heart. My son, my dyslexic son Tyler read to me. Words that a month ago might have well been ancient Egyptian to him. He read. He read. He read. My mouth fell open and I started screaming like I had won the lottery - because it felt like we did. And then I started to cry. It was amazing.
"Uhhh, mom, I will give you a few minutes to yourself. So..you uh, can get yourself together." Tyler said looking at me like this time I had officially gone nuts.
"Tyler, you are READING!" I shouted as I ran to call Shawn, "READINGGGGGGG!"
I can not wait to see where he goes the rest of this summer. I am so grateful for this awesome program that is giving Tyler ( and his mom) this gift. I go back again and again to the line
Without tasting the bitter we'd have never known the sweet.
Watching Ethan learn to read was great. But today, seeing Tyler finally do something I worried he may never- seeing his pride and shock as he read the words he'd never understood before- now that was absolutely beautiful.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Once upon a time I was a mother...
I stand all amazed at the LOVE Jesus offers me...
I am amazed. Absolutely amazed.
Tomorrow my son Ethan turns 10 and my heart is bursting with emotion. This is a big birthday for him...and me.
I was 20 years old when he was born. My routine pregnancy turned in an instant into something altogether different. After 28 hours of labor I found my room filled with strangers in scrubs. No one spoke to me. No one looked at me. I was in the room alone and I remember asking many times - each with more urgency and eventually with tears streaming down my face what was happening. I was handed a clipboard and told to sign a waiver - I would be having an emergency C-Section. I heard the doctor say "we have minutes not hours." I heard someone say they needed to get the neo-natal team into the operating room.
I remember laying behind a blue sheet in the operating room. No one spoke and as I listened to the beeping of monitors I prayed. I prayed for this baby that I had never met and yet I loved more than anyone on this Earth.
He was born and Because of the complications I didn't get to hold him first. Not even second or third. I remember being strapped to that bed - my surgery still talking place and craning my neck to see past the crowd of doctors surrounding him across the room. A nurse saw me - saw my tears and my outstretched neck - and held him up in the air for just a moment. "He's okay mom. He's going to be fine."
I can still remember when they first placed him in my arms. It was one of the most remarkable moments of my life..and as I write this tears are filling my eyes. I pulled him close and our faces were only inches apart and then our eyes met. I can still remember the warmth that filled my body, remember the way my heart expanded within my chest - feeling as if it would burst."
"I love you little baby. I love you and I will always take care of you." It felt like an oath.
One that in many ways saved me. Those words directed me many times when I was faced with vital decisions.
Knowing Ethan and the sweet brother that followed two years later has been the privilege of my life.
His purity, his courage, his persistence, his loyalty and love have all taught, humbled and transformed me. There I days that I literally find my mouth hanging open - in complete shock at who he is. All things denote there is a God - and Ethan is no exception.
Sometimes I wonder what kind of man he will be. What will he do with his life? Who will he become? I think about the pain that adolescence and adulthood hold and wish he could just skip that step. But one thing I know for sure - he will continue to amaze me. He will teach and challenge and inspire me.
Happy Birthday to my little bucca di beppo, "I love you little baby. I love you and I will always take care of you."
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