Mother of the Year

In our house the tooth fairy isn't really big into giving money. It seems like the boys just haven't quite caught on to the idea of money and how cool it really can be. So...the fairy usually brings Ethan some sort of dollar toy and maybe a few quarters just to keep up with tradition.

now for my Confession. I made a fatal error. I promised my nearly hysterical 6 year old that if he was good while the dentist pulled his tooth that I was certain the tooth fairy would bring an extra special prize this time... And my plan was brilliant. He did really well - compared to the melt down he had in that place last week he earned a gold medal. It would have been perfect if not for one small detail...I totally forgot to go get this extra special prize. My grandparents came into town and we got so busy the rest of the day that I completely forgot until 11 tonight. So I scoured the house for something and well... here's what the guy will be waking up to tomorrow morning.

1. A Headlamp - courtesy of our food storage - Umm I mean what six year old doesn't need this?
   
2. A Glass Bear Figurine from my Bridal Shower in IL 8 years ago - I would love to be a fly on the wall when he tells his children one day how his mother gave him a Bear in a Wedding Dress from the tooth fairy. Desperate times call for desperate measure.
   
3. And a Bag of Fake coins from our Bacardi Game - I can't even come up with some funny comment about this - I mean, really. This is not pretty.
   

Seriously I can't wait to see his face when he sees this assortment of treasures.

Christmas...

I know. I still haven't posted all the events since Thanksgiving. I can't possibly even begin that task. So I thought I would just post a few of my favorite pictures from the last few months.

Lynsey and I at a FANTASTIC movie...

Tyler asleep in the Toybox

The frosting makes him look like a Cullen...

Turning 5 with spiderman

Can you see all the missing teeth. This is before he lost another on the top. I think we are up to 4 now! I swear he looks like a Jack-o-Lantern.

Uncle Ryan hauling Ty...everytime I look at Tyler's little face in this picture I smile. So sweet.

Always the Worst

My favorite day of the week has now become my arch nemesis. For years and years Sundays have been my favorite day of the week. A family day with no stress(aside from finding everyone matching shoes) and a day spent enjoying being at home with those I love. A day spent with friends - I loved having friends over for dinner after church. A day spent in worship - grateful for all I have.
And yet, now I dread this day. I wake up and wonder how I will make it through. I look for ideas to cover up the gaping hole that is obvious to everyone. I ignore the stares and questions at church. I ignore the emptiness at home. I smile and hold my head high...trying to keep up traditions for these little cubs of mine. They need them. I miss the way my old life made me feel complete. Even lies can feel complete sometimes. And so I carry on. I carry on. And then I carry on more.
Faith is believing in something we can't see. I guess that makes me "faithful" because I am desperately clinging to the healing everyone promises will come in time. Desperately believing that the peace and joy will someday show their little faces. For now...I watch Willy Wonka with my boys. Hoping they don't feel a tenth of the pain their momma is feeling. Hoping their innocence is still intact. Relying on the one thing I do know...my one shred of conviction...that we are in His hands. And for now that is enough.

Emmerson

My sister Lindsey and her husband Matt just had their first baby in January. Last week I went out to finally meet my niece. Oh, she was just so cute and I am definitely her biggest fan. Here are some pictures.

The Hunger Games Series

Well this is a trilogy and the third book is expected out late this summer. Note...if you hate agony and cliff hanging pain - then wait till the 3rd book comes out to dig in. Unfortunately I was not given this warning and read the first two books in the series "The Hunger Games," and "Catching Fire," over Christmas break and have since been agonizing over the months I must still wait for the final volume.
These books were fun and exciting and different, when I read the summary and listened to my friends talk of them I just thought they were not my style. A fight to the death? Children fighting to the death? Are you serious?? But I have to say that they were fantastic and very captivating and although very different - filled with so much humanity that you could believe this was happening in your own world. I loved them and I am envious of anyone just beginning them - you are in for a treat.